Times have changed

Where do I even begin?

It feels like I’ve been on the longest maternity leave in the history of maternity leaves. What started as a maternity leave morphed into an extended march break, total lock down, and eternal summer break. Although technically I have been working for the past year, I’ve basically been in “survival” mode – trying desperately to just stay on top of the necessities! So many things have fallen to the wayside, but still I am feeling grateful to be where I am. We are all healthy. We are all safe. And slowly, our lives are beginning to return to a relative state of normalcy.

As things fell to the wayside – replying to emails, updating my blog… it became like this unsurmountable obstacle. Every time I would open my computer the thought of checking my emails or my social media sent me into a tailspin of anxiety. If I missed you, I am sorry. All of our lives have been so hectic.

Isabel started back to school last Thursday. School looks a little different this year, and she is no longer taking the bus, but she is so excited every day to go and see her friends. Lila started daycare and is adjusting so well! Having a kid with VLCAD, or any other disorder that requires a specialized diet adds a layer of complexity to daycare, but we are managing pretty well!

We have been so fortunate where we live to have very view Covid cases, but it has still upended our lives. When schools were first closed, there was a panic, stores were empty and we were all pretty much confined to our houses. It was a big adjustment for us (as I’m sure almost all of you can relate), not being able to see our parents/grandparents and friends.

On the flip side, one of the positives of the pandemic is that we’ve made great friends with some neighbours. When we were able to expand our social circles a little, we paired up and now are kids are pretty obsessed with one another. These little things, like hearing kids play, is like music to my ears after such a long time. We were able to spend SO much time outside this summer. A favourite activity was to walk down to the lake and try to catch fish with a net – of course the fish were way too fast for my 5 year old but it still provided hours of fun. We live near a river and we watched the turtles and snakes, herons and swans. We dressed up in costumes and walked around outside to cheer people up. We made a fairy garden and painted rocks. We played A LOT of video games. As hard as it was, I think we also made a lot of good memories and for that I feel grateful.

I sincerely hope that all of you are safe. I hope that your loved ones are safe. And, I hope that you are able to return to some normal activities again. This whole thing has been so complex. The virus obviously has some dire consequences, but I also know personally, the fear and isolation also has its own consequences. Honestly, I’m just grateful I am a lingerie maker and I don’t have to make the difficult decisions the people in charge have to make. After experiencing what my dad went through with the flu two years ago, I never want anyone to experience longterm ventilation. I mean, it saved his life, so I am eternally grateful… but the recovery was so hard.

If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I’ve been making cloth masks. In Ontario, masks are mandatory in public spaces for people 2+, and I know it is similar in many other areas. I’m trying to do mask drops every 2 weeks or so. They tend to sell out fast. Going forward, I’ll try to let you know here as well when I have masks ready. They tend to sell out quite quickly.

This is my first full week with the kids in school and daycare. I’m not going to lie. It feels good. I have some silence to think and I can reclaim my house a little bit from the blanket forts and slime-factories. My husband is home this week too which is so nice. For the last 6 months, every moment he has been off of work, I have been working, so to have some time to just quietly hang out together will be so nice.

I have so many things I need to start working on that I hardly know where to start. I know once I get over this overwhelmed feeling that my creative energy will start flowing again. This is a good time to practice some self-compassion. We’ve all been through a lot the last few months.