All good things must come to an end…

This is going to be a hard post to write, but honestly, it’s at least a year in the making.

I’ve made the very difficult decision to close my lingerie business. On one hand, it is a huge weight off my shoulders. But on the other hand, I’m left feeling somewhat defeated.

The last few years have been hard. Having a baby, then being struck with a pandemic, attempting to “online school” a child between the years of 5-7, having precarious childcare, following COVID protocols, and a partner whose job is not very flexible, made it virtually impossible for me to focus on work, besides staying afloat. And, in the “aftermath” (i say this somewhat jokingly because I know so many people with Covid right now) of the pandemic, I was left with two choices: build back up my business or move onto something new.

I spent the last year attempting to build it back up, but my heart wasn’t it in. I’m not sure if it’s that I’m older, that I’ve spent the last 4 years pushed into the roll of “full time” mom, general burnout or what, but I just didn’t have it in me.

Financially it all took a pretty big toll on my family. I am so lucky that my partner has a dependable, stable job, but going from the main breadwinner to scrimping for necessities was pretty hard. Add that stress to the stress of not knowing what was going on with my business, and it was kind of a recipe for a total mental breakdown.

Luckily, I never completely made it into emotional breakdown zone, but I definitely dangled my feet over the edge. Life the last few years has had a lot of really beautiful, memorable moments with my kids, but I also have seen a piece of myself… change. I don’t want to say lost, because in many ways I feel more “me” than I have in a while. But I’m definitely being pushed out the other side of this a very different person.

I’ve been finding social media so hard these days. I just don’t have the desire to hustle undies online, and the social media landscape has changed so much from my humble beginnings in the early 2010’s. Back then I had a blogger account and a facebook page. Now I’m juggling YouTube, two etsy shops, Tiktok, Instagram… And I’m OLD. I don’t want to be competing with the youngsters any more! (ha!) The market is so saturated, and the uptick in brands like Temu and Shein has really changed things (this deserves an entire deep dive on it’s own).

So, in the midst of my ‘what am I doing with my life’ semi-crisis I decided to take a step back. I hooked myself up with some cleaning jobs and spent about a month just cleaning houses a few days a week (and still managing the bits of work that were coming in). And as weird as it sounds, going from a full time lingerie designer to a house cleaner was one of the best things I could have done for my mental health. It feels so incredibly good to go out, do a job, come home and not be thinking about the job. I can sit on the couch, play with my kids, frig, I can sit and do a sudoku with out that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I “should be doing something.”

The one thing that never changed over these few tumultuous years is my desire to create. And I can say, one of the positive things the pandemic brought to me was a discovery of new crafts – namely crochet, clay and art! On a whim I decided I was going to start vending at local craft markets. I did 3 over the holiday season and they were amazing. It was so much fun to interact in person with customers and other makers. I found a new drive to make and it feels really good.

So, that in a nutshell is what led me to where I am now.

Here’s what is going to change: I’ll no longer be making Lingerie under the brand “Ohhh Lulu”. Hit me up if anyone wants to buy a lingerie brand (haha). Over the next month, I’ll be clearing out old stock and samples, then I will be transitioning to a new brand, Green River Mercantile. I am going to continue making sleep masks and scrunchies (but I want to work more with reclaimed materials), and possibly some lingerie here or there, but likely ready made. That being said, I will always have time for my long-time customers. I also want to focus on crochet goods, clay earrings, and some art (like stickers, notebooks, etc). I know that the general business advice is to find a niche and stick to that but screw that. I hate following rules! I just want to make beautiful things that fill my heart with joy! So that is what I am going to do.

Here’s what is not going to change: My sewing pattern business will stay the same. I’m undecided as to whether I will rebrand this as well. I really feel like a “rebirth” is what I need mentally but I’m a little worried about how I do that after a decade of a specific brand name. I want to branch out more into lounge wear over the coming year and focus more on YouTube. I really enjoy making videos and interacting with everyone over there.

Thanks to all of you for coming along on this journey with me. I’ll keep posting here, though the blog name may change. I hope you’ll join me to see what is to come!