I am having a
sale through the entire month of July. Take 15% off your entire purchase – excluding custom orders – with coupon code ShowOff2013.
I am running this sale in conjuncture with
Kristen from Sew Classic and
Ashley at Craft Sanctuary, who are running the “
Show off your skivvies challenge.” They are creating a body-snark-free venue for sewing-enthusiasts to post their handmade lingerie and swimsuits, talk about fit adjustments and issues, and sewing in general. The fun part for sewing-bloggers is showing off a finished piece, but if what you’ve sewn is something more intimate, showing off can be scary. Let’s face it, the world (and especially the internet) is a highly critical place. No matter what your size, shape, or figure, it is impossible to not be effected by the way and tone in which we speak about each others bodies. So, please feel free to use the coupon code ShowOff2013 to
purchase any pattern from my shop and join in the fun. As someone who has proudly shown their perfectly-imperfect derriere on the Front Page of Etsy, I whole heatedly support this challenge!
I have been wanting to talk about body image for a while, but to be honest, have not know how to go about it. I am a petite woman. In my early to mid twenties I was very,
very thin. In my late twenties to now, I have gained a good amount of weight and now have what I like to call an “ample bosom” and hips, but am still a relatively small person. I also am short (5’1″). Having never been a plus size person, I can’t talk about that side of the body-image story with any experience. I can say I am glad to see the fashion industry starting to include more variety in body size. Just yesterday,
Etsy posted this great article about Plus-Size Clothing. Still, there is definitely an under-representation. I understand that. I wish I could cater more to larger sizes, though being an independent designer with no training in plus-sizes, it is something I rarely delve in to… That is something truly amazing about the human body – it comes in so many shapes and sizes. A real challenge for designers, especially little guys like me. But, that’s another blog post entirely.
So, I’m just going to talk about what I know.
What I wanted to say is, no matter what your size is or your weight or appearance, you are
always open to body-criticism. I think that the body-image discussion often becomes a “you against me” debate – just look at all of those images circulating the internet with phrases like “Only Dogs Like Bones” referring to thin women, and that kind of thing. I get where these images are coming from, but there are far more constructive ways to feel better about yourself than to put others down. The body-image discussion effects
everyone, no matter what you size, figure, gender, age, and it is something we should talk about together, without judging one another.
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| No! |
(As an aside, it also bothers me what this image implies about men. The men in my life love me for who I am, not for how I look. The men in your life probably feel the same about you).
When I was very thin, I was no more confident that I am now. When I was very thin, I was still open to criticism – “Go eat a hamburger,” that kind of thing. Those comments are uncalled for, and just plain rude.
Now that I am a heavier weight, I don’t get any outward remarks. I do, however, feel it more from the media. My tummy pokes out a bit, in a way it never did at 21. I definitely would never make it on a “Best Bikini Body” List. But having seen my body change, I realized something really important: no matter what my size or weight, it doesn’t influence my happiness. Happiness is determined by something else entirely. My body doesn’t change who I am. No matter what my weight, or body type, I will still have to put up with the same societal bullshit. It’s nothing wrong with me, it’s something wrong with us, and the way we treat each other and speak about each others bodies.
A few years ago, I found this amazing trick that helped me have great body-confidence. I cut off my cable TV. I stopped reading fashion magazines. I didn’t visit fashion or celebrity gossip websites that made me feel bad about the way I look. In no time at all, I felt great about my body and how I looked. Without ads pointing out my barely-there crows feet, and hardly noticeable cellulite, and that one acne scar that won’t fade, without being bombarded with images of perfectly sculpted (by scalpel or personal trainer) celebrity “bikini bodies,” I felt pretty darn good about myself. Now, on the rare occasion that I watch TV with commercials, they are almost comical, the “scientific” jargon, the unrealistic expectations… But back in the day, I know they really had an impact on me. You are never going to live up to the expectations placed before you in an ad. If you did, they would have nothing to sell you. These days, it gets a little harder with Pinterest and Tumblr, and that kind of thing. But to be honest, when I see something I don’t like or that gives me that twinge of body-insecurity, I just un-follow it, block it, scroll past, hide it, or turn off the computer. You can control a great deal of what you see online. Problem Solved.
Being a lingerie designer, has made things a little more tricky. You look at lot of bodies throughout the day, trying to stay current on trends, etc. Something else I have learned that is very important is that you can’t judge yourself against a picture. I wonder why we do that…? Pictures and models are manipulated, they are wearing a lot of make up, there’s photoshop, lighting, etc. We all know that. It’s a models job to be beautiful. Plus, she may be beautiful, but can she create some really pretty lingerie, or talk to you at length about Bigfoot, or cook a mean vegetarian shepherds pie? She isn’t all of those amazing, unique, quirky things that make you, you. Judging yourself against a picture is ridiculous. You know nothing about that person, other than what they look like. And there is so much more to life than just looking good. I have so many other things to do than to obsess about how I look.
I worry that our obsession with bodies is making us forget what is really important in life. It’s who you were, the things you did, the way you treated people that will be remembered when your body is gone. It’s highly unlikely that you will be remembered for how smokin’ hot you looked in that bikini during the summer of 2013, but you probably will be remembered for being a kind, helpful friend, for sharing of yourself, for contributing to the world, for being an amazing mother, a great father, the best aunt or uncle, a caring daughter, a teacher, an artist, a volunteer, a great intellect, a wonderful sense of humour… I think in a world where our outer shell is placed in such high regard, it is important to take perspective like that.
I don’t know when we decided it was ok to start judging people’s bodies, or how that became socially acceptable. Especially now on the internet, we have a whole new venue to anonymously judge each others appearance, which is incredibly shameful of us. We should all be so grateful for our bodies, especially our healthy bodies (and healthy bodies come in many shapes and sizes). Bodies provide us with a vehicle to navigate us through this wonderful, beautiful, at times painful life. Bodies can be so much fun when you feel good about them, and you have no reason not to.
